Belong before Believe

Recently, I’ve been reflecting on the statement “belong before believe.”

I remember as a little girl I had the privilege of belonging to a Christian family. I also remember making a clear decision for myself to follow Jesus. Becoming a Christian is a matter of faith in the saving power of Jesus, but the way in which everyone reaches that point is different.

For most people, it starts with lots of small steps towards faith. From my experience, it usually starts with a sense of finding belonging amongst a body of other believers. The need for belonging was, I believe, set into human beings by our creator God in the first place.

Psalm 68:6 states: “God sets the lonely in families.” He, in the form of the trinity, even models this sense of togetherness and belonging. 

Research shows the power of belonging and its impact on wellbeing, engagement with education, occupational and economic outcomes.

A typical journey into the Christian faith begins with a connection. Perhaps to a friend or colleague, or like in my case; my family. These people will have likely spent many hours getting alongside us, making us feel safe to ask questions, and showering us with care and acceptance. Scientifically and biologically we know that this connection is essential for making the nervous system feel safe.

After making a connection, attending church is often a logical next step. But here lies the challenge: is the church going to follow through with showing that safety which settles a person’s nervous system? Will the person feel comfortable enough to continue asking questions to explore their faith further? 

All of that said, I know many people for whom salvation in Jesus happened quickly and we must never undermine or even be surprised at the miraculous way God intervenes in people’s lives. Even in the deepest of pain, God in his miraculous way reaches deep into hearts and changes can be dramatic. Even then, there is still a need for much nurturing, belonging and much of the journey is still to unfold.

So how can you foster a sense of belonging in your church? Below are some of my top tips.

• Make it clear on your website what will happen when people come. Perhaps create a video of the entrance, people, the journey into the building and activities. 

• Create environments that aren't "churchy." Things like community cafes, toddler groups, or hobby clubs (football, craft, games etc.) allow people to belong to the community before they make the next step into church.

• Meeting physical needs, like providing a warm space, a food pantry, or free debt coaching advice  - this demonstrates that the church cares about the person as a whole and not just their ‘soul’.

• Be consistent. Belonging is built on the "predictable presence" of others. Assigning mentors or buddies whose only job is to stay in touch (not to preach, but to check in) creates the secure attachment people need.

• Take away the sense of shame. Belonging is impossible where there is a fear of judgment. Church families can foster safety by being transparent about their own struggles, ensuring that those in "messy" situations feel like they are among peers, not projects.

• Invite people to participate. When someone contributes, they move from being a "guest" to having a role, and being a valued member of the body of Christ.

  
  

Does your church do anything particularly well to help new people feel as though they belong? We’d love to hear from you!

Ruth at Join the Dots